Artwork: The Annunciation to the Shepherds by Henry Ossawa Tanner
You are With Me - A Blessing for Those Who Weep this Christmas | by Erika Kobewka
Did you know that the first days of December are recognized in Canada as National Grief Awareness Week? What might it look and feel like to acknowledge these days within our faith communities, workplaces, and gathering tables? How might we, as the body of Christ, provide a soft landing this season for those who have experienced loss? I read recently that the most gracious gift we can offer the grieving is to "help them bear being in time and space during unbearable times and spaces." (1) Holidays and celebrations, especially, have a way of illuminating the chasm of all that has been lost, both individually and collectively. How might we be generous in our hospitality and tread gently but intentionally into these "unbearable spaces?" More than ever, I am confident that, over and above any words of consolation we could possibly offer, it is the ministry of 'being with' and coming alongside others in their grief and suffering that we both express and experience the hands and feet of Christ. The term, 'solidarity' stems from the Latin word, 'solidus' as being "firm and whole and having 3 dimensions." (2) Might we stand in solidarity with those who mourn and be safe and spacious enough to give permission for sorrow and lament to be expressed in all of its dimensions? I encourage you to be imaginative in how we, as the Church, can embody the pace, posture, and patience of Advent waiting and longing.
Community Practice: Imaginative Prayer
This exercise was initially crafted last year during Advent for the children in my church community; however, my heart for this practice is that it might be accessible for everyone and anyone, regardless of age. Before beginning, consider a few practicalities:
- My intent was that this practice could be led by a 'celebrant' with the bold words being said collectively within a time of gathered worship, a small home-group, or Sunday School.
- This practice could also be easily modified for a personal time of silence and prayer.
- For the celebrant or reader, lean into a slower pace and allow ample time and space before moving on to the next section.
I invite you to participate, as best you can, in its simplicity, remembering that often our truest and most honest prayers have the fewest words.
You Are With Me
Close your eyes and let's take 2 deep breaths together.
Remember that there is no space that God's love can't reach.
Can you take a moment to notice how you come today?
Remember that all of our feelings and emotions are safe with God.
How does your body feel? Tired? Rested?
What are you thinking about? What is on your mind?
Are your thoughts moving fast or slow or somewhere in between?
How does your heart feel? Does it feel light or heavy or maybe both?
Do you carry any sadness or worry?
I invite you to notice and bring these thoughts and feelings to God.
Listen to these words describing the arrival of Jesus:
"This is a big message for everyone. Keep your eyes open and awake and look for this wonderful sign: a young girl named Mary is going to have a baby who will save the world. His name will be Jesus, and he is going to rescue us. Yes, the One we have been waiting for, our Rescuer, is coming. We get to call him Emmanuel, which means, 'God is with us.' His name is a promise that we will never walk through our hurt or our sadness alone." (3)
Did you know that joy and sorrow can exist at the same time?
In this moment, do you notice any aches or sadness in your heart?
Can you find a way to share them with God right now?
Use your own honest words.
Know that our fears and our sorrows do not push God away;
in fact, God chose to be born right in the midst of the world's deepest hurts.
Let's take 2 more deep and slow breaths, breathe in the big truth that God is with you.
If you would like, you can place one hand on your heart as we say together,
"Emmanuel, God is with me."
How does that feel in your heart?
How does that feel in your body?
If your neighbour is willing, you can place a gentle hand on their back and remind them too,
"Emmanuel, God is with you."
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A Blessing for Those Who Weep This Christmas:
The Lord bless you and keep you tenderly close this season.
May your heart's deepest aches and losses have more than enough room to be expressed and may the Good
Shepherd hem you in on all sides as you walk this sorrowful road.
May you experience the secure hands and gentle carrying of the Wonderful Counsellor in these days.
The Lord bless you with great courage and grace to face and grieve all that cannot be fixed or solved. Here, may you experience the sure with-ness of Emmanuel, God with you, God of all comfort. And when the pain of all that has been lost and all that has been broken is too much to bear, may Jesus, our longed-for Saviour and Messiah, meet you in your great need and give you peace.
In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
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1. Anne Lamott, "Stiches: A Handbook on Meaning, Hope, and Repair" (New York: Riverhead Books,2013), 18.
2. Taken from the Online Etymology Dictionary.
3. Matthew 1:22, 23 paraphrase, my own
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Erika Britt Kobewka is a writer, worship leader, spiritual director, and violinist in St Albert, Alberta. As a long-time creative contributor within the Vineyard Canada family, 'setting the table' for others to experience the love of God continues to be a profound joy and privilege. Erika is an avid reader, music-maker, hiker, and (amateur) flower gardener. She loves to be at home with her family or finding new trails in the Rocky Mountains. She and her family attend and serve at Avenue Vineyard in Edmonton. You can follow some of her written work at
www.erikabritt.ca.
